Thursday, January 22

Laughing Foot.

cryingfist by you.

We've all seen at least one boxing movie right? Rocky, Ali, Raging Bull, Million Dollar Baby. And we all know what usually happens at the end. The protagonist will either come back in the final round to overcome his rival in a heroic series of blows or lose the match yet have the respect of the nation or become a quadriplegic and receive euthanasia by an old man who used to star in spaghetti westerns and is known for saying, "You've got to ask yourself a question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well do ya, punk?!" We see it all the time right? Well what do you do when there are two protagonists facing against each other in the ring? What do you do when you want to root for both fighters but can't imagine what would happen if one lost. What you do is just sit back and watch.

Crying Fist is a movie that tells the story of two characters who don't meet until the final round of the lightweight championship. One is an ex-con ex-dreadlocked dude fighting for his dead father and dying grandmother while the other is a homeless, washed up former silver medalist at the Asian Games fighting for his son and his pride. The end result is mind blowing. Well not really. But it's still a good movie. You may recognize one of the boxers to be an Oldboy. It's directed by the same guy who did City of Violence, the movie which I enjoyed and wrote about earlier. The only bad thing about this movie is that it might be trying to do to much at once. It feels like The Pursuit of Happiness meets Ali meets American History X meets Skull meets Boy Meets World meets Meatloaf. It easily could have been two different movies, but that's what makes this film different. It's not a regular boxing movie. Some fights are shot in one single take. From the friendly glove tap in the beginning of the match to the knockout at the end, you can see the actors go at it in real time. No match cuts of a punch to a guy turning his head and spitting water. But all in all. It was a time well spent. Oh yeah, and if you get really uncomfortable seeing male buttocks and ten year old penis remember to close your eyes.

Wednesday, January 21

Superbowl 43.


The conference championship games finished this weekend. The two teams going to the Superbowl are the Arizona Cardinals and the Pittsburgh Steelers. I was happy with the results, I’m a Redskins fan, so the Eagles losing is as enjoyable as a soft kiss from an elf on an ancient medieval battlefield, or licking jelly off Jessica Alba’s elbows. The Steelers winning was rather annoying, seeing how most of their fans annoy me, and Troy Polamalu reminds me of Slash, which makes me uncomfortable. Overall Superbowl 43 should be a game filled with big hits, flashy plays, big hats, and fishy gays. I won’t be there; I will be promoting this blog in Akaa Finland, home of the first cherry popsicle.

Wednesday, January 14

Flash.

So What-1 by nguyendm.

I received a gift from a good, old friend the other day. Dan Gordon, a newly famed artist from New York who I went to school with took time out of his newfound hectic lifestyle to look back on the little people in his life. He sent me an autographed four of a kind, two piece work of art from his memorable exhibition last year. The only other people in the world with this original is his mother, Barack Obama and the Dalai Lama. I am proud to showcase this above 60 inch flatscreen.

Monday, January 12

In Mickey D Uniform.

The Cleveland Cavaliers are the hottest team in the NBA right now. They blew past the slumping Boston Celtics last week, moving them into first place in everyone's power rankings. Everyone's except mine, where they are third behind the Wizards and the Bullets. There’s no doubt that the Cav’s can pay their success to the intensity that the teams vocal leader, Lebron James aka King James aka LBJ The First Black President according to Duy, shows on a nightly basis. The picture above shows him growling after he tells opposing fans that he’s a panther. He spent the following 2 minutes hissing like a cat. After the hissing, he subbed into the game and in an instant did an off-the-backboard one handed windmill from the three point line over DeShawn Stevenson. Three minutes later the game ended, with the Wizards winning 171-46. The league's The Next Big Thing turned into The Big Thing and then just to The Thing as he ended his game in defeat.

Wednesday, January 7

3 4 10.

I don't know what it is but I really like cheesy, stylized action movies. There's something about a guy dressed in a black and white suit who can repel metal objects mentally, walking up to a gang of youths shooting a salvo of bullets at him and then having a little girl in a school uniform throw a knife at his head while she says "Dodge This" and he says "Huh?!" and then dies in dramatic form. Amirite!?

I stumbled upon a three for $10 bin of DVDs and looked around. I picked up everyone's favorite thumb sucker starring in Thumbsucker and the "That Movie With That Guy Who Worked With Wes Anderson" movie, The Squid and the Whale. But what I'm most excited for is the Korean movie The City of Violence. I had never heard of it but it had everything that I liked on the cover. I've always said judge a book by its cover, it usually works out for me. Well this DVD had two dudes in suits flying in the air while kicking other dudes, perhaps also in the air and/or soon to be in the air due to the kick by the dudes already in the air, in black and white and with the color red in the titles and some blood here and there splattered about. It's also called The City of Violence. Just think of it. It's a whole city...of violence. What more can you ask for? And if you say country of violence you are a sick person who needs to seek professional help. And plus, most of the movies I've come across with "City" in their name have been pretty good. Sin City, City of God, Sex and the City... I mean was this a mistake? Was it supposed to be in the bargain bin and not the $28+ DVD shelf at FYE? I found myself casually walking out of the store with this, so far, awesome movie for only $3.33 looking at my periferals to see if anyone was chasing me saying, "Wait Sir! There's been some sort of shelving mistake!" or "Hey Punk! you have to pay for that!"

I haven't watched it yet but have seen the trailer on YouTube and the number of spinning back hook kicks performed over the amount of blood and teeth flying at the camera create a trustworthy ratio that I can believe in. Whatever that means...

Monday, January 5

Jizz In My Pants.


This is the new Jizz In My Pants video. If I hadn't made it any clearer, I can't wait for this game. That's why I have it. The good folks at Square jetted me over a demo of the first ten minutes in the game when they first saw my enthusiasm for this work of art. I haven't played it yet though due to the dreaded "second week of the new year" business meetings everyone in the know knows about. But anyways, I'll play it eventually. I might even wait until it comes up and play it and then get the real thing.

P.S. Here is the old Jizz In My Pants video.