Every year, Christmas was the time I looked forward to the most. The songs, the lights, the whole feeling of Christmas and everything that came with it. However recently, it seems disappointing each time it arrives. When I was young, the whole family would gather in one house, from the morning to late in the night of Christmas Eve. I would play with my brother and cousins, running around the house being kids and oblivious to everything around us. We were not worried about fixing our cars, paying the rent, or anything about that. We were just kids.
Every time we would hear the doorbell ring, we ran to see who it was. Mom's sister, Grandmother's brother. You see the house we were all at, was the first house owned by our family in America. It housed my family members that just came over from Vietnam, helping them get on their feet and move out. And after they'd move out, they'd all return for Christmas. For just one day. And it was great having literally everyone under one roof.
But now, I'm years older and Christmas has lost its touch. Those people that rung the doorbell, the people that had me running to see are gone. Either they're at the spouses family, or just simply off of this world. There's less family. And that's what I miss. That's what Christmas was for me. It's not even that the gifts came in the masses as a kid. It's not that the toy guitars and action figures have turned into the form of bills and cards. It's the massive gap between generations and the disconnect that has came because of it.
At least we still have those Christmas songs. They give me hope of someday having the perfect Christmas again. Maybe in five years someone will light our house on fire. And we'll all gather back in that little house. The whole family. Maybe I'll light the house on fire. I wish I was 10 again.
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